1. They are terrified of being controlled.
Don't take it to heart. When someone rejects you it can be hard not to take it personally. The chances are that if you've been communicating online, or only had a couple of dates, they simply didn't find what they were looking for. This isn't about you, it is about them. Each of us has a unique blueprint for what defines our ideal. “No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.” ~Eleanor Roosevelt. It's not about you. It's about them. It's their loss. Don't take it personally. It doesn't mean anything. Well-intentioned people have told me these things many times to soften the blow of rejection. And I wanted so badly to believe them, but how could I. 15 Jan Rejection happens. From little things, like a driver cutting you off on the highway, to hearing a negative comment about your appearance, to bigger, deeper life events like not getting that promotion you really had your heart set on or losing your job all together. That rejection can really sting and sometimes.
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How often have you met someone, felt a real influence with them, had a couple of great dates, and then never heard from them again?
It's happened to everyone.
It's easy to take this courteous of unexpected also brush personally. My psychotherapy clients often beg questions like.
And there it is once again, the emotional gut punch that drops us to our knees. Rejection has found us like a fear seeking missile that feels its way directly to our exposed vulnerabilities.
In the aftermath of date destruction, shock and awe limits our spiritual eyesight. We find ourselves staring at the replica of failure and the self-portrait of shame and guilt. Once again a potential mate has failed to see us as the one. We react; we frantically search for a solution to why our dates are blind to the alluring beacon of our brilliance. And, just like that, the inner critic makes us painfully aware of our continual rejection, eventually corroding our excitement towards dating.
Deep down you know who you are and what you have to offer, so why does the pain of rejection disrupt the rhythmic flow our tenderly beating hearts? When we unveil our nakedness to others again and again without the desired results, we get caught in a pattern of negative dating experiences.
We then carry that unsettled energy with us into the next date, and the next, and possibly the next… As a result of this pattern, we may give off uncomfortable vibes that can be perceived as weak, needy , or overly emotional because of how badly we feel about ourselves in these situations.
And to make matters worse, it stinks to be passed over time and time again. Our current dating culture does not easily grant permission for us to be comfortable in our skin without our masks of protection. We have not been spiritually, emotionally, or mentally trained to take rejection as a blessing, or as a powerful Universal insurance policy that renounces those who are not in alignment with our highest good.
Well-intentioned family suffer with told me these characteristics manifold times to soften the expand of turn-down. And I wanted so wretchedly to put one's trust in them, but how could I? It obligation median something nearby you, right? I tried to reframe it, to deal with that it in fact had everything to do with me. That gray parade-ground was the essential to bouncing aid from the old heave-ho.
It was the timbre to culture around myself. And it was the guide to changing how I showed up in the out of sight, and how I sagacious it.
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- Our current dating culture does not easily grant permission for us to be comfortable in our skin without our masks of protection. We have not been spiritually, emotionally, or mentally trained to take rejection as a blessing, or as a powerful Universal insurance policy that renounces those who are not in alignment with our. 4 Jun You can't take it personally." Oh, but I can. Bad dating experiences prompt the voices in my head to chime in with, "You were rejected AGAIN. No one will ever love you. You're going to be alone forever." The problem is, when you're out there trying to meet someone on dating apps—and even IRL—hurtful.
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- Don't take it to heart. When someone rejects you it can be hard not to take it personally. The chances are that if you've been communicating online, or only had a couple of dates, they simply didn't find what they were looking for. This isn't about you, it is about them. Each of us has a unique blueprint for what defines our ideal. “No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.” ~Eleanor Roosevelt. It's not about you. It's about them. It's their loss. Don't take it personally. It doesn't mean anything. Well-intentioned people have told me these things many times to soften the blow of rejection. And I wanted so badly to believe them, but how could I.